Perspective

Okay, so I kinda got lost in the storm there for a while. Easter was the trigger and my own negligence was the ammo.

But you know what, this is a marathon, not a sprint. I'm good, I'm okay, I'm back in the sunshine again.

Things I learned this time:

1. Chocolate is not my friend.
2. Some part of me seems hell-bent on sabotaging my best efforts and I don't know why.
3. Making healthy choices is hard when you 'don't care'.

What's helping:

1. My three mantras: "it matters" and "if you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you always got" (thanks Dr Phil) and "time passes regardless" (thank you Lucy).

2. Being mindful.

3. Remembering how far I've come but kind of ignoring it. Today is a new day and tomorrow will be the same if I don't make some changes today.

4. Focusing on what I CAN eat, rather than what I can't.

So, I'm getting there. It's been an excellent week. I'm almost 18 kilos down now and people are really starting to notice. Must remember that while I'm getting smaller my head mustn't get bigger!

Always a fan of Lucy...

[Image found here]

Fighting the Demon

I could kick myself. In fact, I need to.


I’ve lost my focus. I’m off the rails.

I’m still eating everything my Commando prepares for me. But I find myself adding stuff - quantities of stuff. Chocolate stuff. Almond stuff. Not good stuff.

I hate that the ‘eat what I want’ demon is still inside me even after 12 weeks of good, wholesome eating. I hate that even though I feel SO MUCH BETTER when I’m eating healthily, the demon is still feeding me stuff that makes my head hurt and my stomach gurgle. I hate that I’ve proved to myself that I can follow a plan and lose weight, yet here I am distracted by the demon and off the plan, not losing weight.

I hate that I can’t seem to kick that demon to the curb.

But I’m not giving up.

I don’t know what feeds the demon, but I’m determined that it won’t be me.

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Have you seen Lucy's fab new linky? Join in with any 'changing' moment you're in the middle of. It doesn't have to be weight-related. Are you renovating? Studying? Pregnant?

[Image found here]

I blame the bunny

So Easter, huh?

I have consumed my body weight in chocolate over the past four days. It was great at the time - that free feeling of 'stuff it' (or rather 'stuff me'). I rode that chocolate high like a thoroughbred racing for the Cup.

Now I've come down I'm just the grumpiest, meanest person around. It's like I've permanently got the cranky pants on and they're three sizes bigger than they were four days ago.

I've got to start thinking more like an addict and less like someone who can 'just have one'. I can't have just one. I can't even have just ten.

I blame the bunny. Why can't he hop around delivering carrots instead of the brown stuff?

[Insanely cute bunny image from here. Don't even look at me, bunny, you know what you've done.]

All quiet on the Skinny front

The trouble when things are going well for me is that I am just not that interesting.

I am losing weight.

My new regime feels 'normal' now.

There have been lapses here and there but nothing to write home (or blog!) about.

I am losing weight.

So, I'm really just getting on with packing those bags for my big move to number 40.

[Image via weheartit]

The trouble with fruit

I love fruit, I really do. The orange or apple pieces that I have on my train journey in the morning are just so delicious. But only when just perfectly ripe and ready.

The trouble with fruit is that you never really know what you're going to get... when it's bad, it's very, very bad.

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Something different

As part of the 'Commando Program'' we get one meal off a week.

One of the meals was a gorgeous night out at Manly Pavillion for our wedding anniversary. We went for Ben and Jerry's ice creams afterwards (Phish Food, my favourite). I couldn't finish my ice cream! Hmmm.... something different!

This morning we went for brunch at our favourite spot. It's a cafe by a park and there are trees to climb, lots of running around room and a playground. The perfect cafe!

I indulged in sourdough toast, bacon and scrambled eggs. I found myself polishing off the rocket garnish first. I found myself sharing half the bacon and eggs with the Tsunamis. I found myself not being able to finish the bacon anyway.  Hmmmm... something different!

As time goes by, I'm making better choices and listening to my body. Not because I 'have' to, but because I want to. Hmmmm.... something different!

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It is working

Could this be the key? I have nothing to say about my diet one way or the other EXCEPT

it is working.

I am paying no attention to it whatsoever. I am not obsessing. I am not even thinking.

it is working.

I'm not eating funny foods. I'm not craving anything. I'm not scared if I eat a morsel that's 'not on the plan'

it is working.

There is no hurry. No stress. No 'I should be' or 'I shouldn't be'. It just is what it is and

it is working.

I know this because even though I am not measuring myself or weighing myself, we are taking photos every Sunday evening in the same tight clothes and

it is working.

Three words that stand out for me this week:

1. Persistence
2. Consistence
3. Daily

I'm charmed, as ever, by Diminishing Lucy

[Image found at the Lucky Optimist, source unknown. Please contact me if this is your image!]