Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Fighting the Demon

I could kick myself. In fact, I need to.

I’ve lost my focus. I’m off the rails.

I’m still eating everything my Commando prepares for me. But I find myself adding stuff - quantities of stuff. Chocolate stuff. Almond stuff. Not good stuff.

I hate that the ‘eat what I want’ demon is still inside me even after 12 weeks of good, wholesome eating. I hate that even though I feel SO MUCH BETTER when I’m eating healthily, the demon is still feeding me stuff that makes my head hurt and my stomach gurgle. I hate that I’ve proved to myself that I can follow a plan and lose weight, yet here I am distracted by the demon and off the plan, not losing weight.

I hate that I can’t seem to kick that demon to the curb.

But I’m not giving up.

I don’t know what feeds the demon, but I’m determined that it won’t be me.


Have you seen Lucy's fab new linky? Join in with any 'changing' moment you're in the middle of. It doesn't have to be weight-related. Are you renovating? Studying? Pregnant?

[Image found here]


Miss Mandy said...

I can so relate to this. I've started running, but in response, I've started eating more, and crap. How hard is it to go 'that's enough' when you think you're hungry! Keep up the fight. Clearly it's worth it. I'll continue to try and start mine.

Cate said...

Is it maybe the case that ur not giving yourself permission to eat the chocky? What if u added a couple of pieces of choc to ur diet EVERYDAY. Would it stop being such a temptation if it was always there?
Just a thought :-)

Diminishing Lucy said...

It's your body's famine response. Teamed up with some standard female emotional eating tendencies, along with some hormones...

The trick is to eat when you are hungry. Eat what you want. And then stop the moment you begin to feel full.

And do not eat at any other time...

I feel every ounce of your frustration. I live it.


stink-bomb said...

i think many of us can relate to this - the demon rears it's ugly head when we usually least expect it to or want it to.

fight him off, he will give up eventually...


Naturally Carol said...

I have only just found you here! I actually need to move to 53 Slim Street and am currently living on the biggest block in Obese Street at the moment. I have just had a 'melting moment' or two for Mother's Day afternoon tea..I start tomorrow!