Fighting the Demon

I could kick myself. In fact, I need to.


I’ve lost my focus. I’m off the rails.

I’m still eating everything my Commando prepares for me. But I find myself adding stuff - quantities of stuff. Chocolate stuff. Almond stuff. Not good stuff.

I hate that the ‘eat what I want’ demon is still inside me even after 12 weeks of good, wholesome eating. I hate that even though I feel SO MUCH BETTER when I’m eating healthily, the demon is still feeding me stuff that makes my head hurt and my stomach gurgle. I hate that I’ve proved to myself that I can follow a plan and lose weight, yet here I am distracted by the demon and off the plan, not losing weight.

I hate that I can’t seem to kick that demon to the curb.

But I’m not giving up.

I don’t know what feeds the demon, but I’m determined that it won’t be me.

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Have you seen Lucy's fab new linky? Join in with any 'changing' moment you're in the middle of. It doesn't have to be weight-related. Are you renovating? Studying? Pregnant?

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I've finally found my 'zone'!

I'm in the zone. That zone where you're just 'doing it' and not 'thinking about it'. Think driving your car... ever freak yourself out wondering 'how did I get five blocks away all of a sudden'? Yep, that's the zone.

Well, I've never been here for weight loss before. Never.

It's the good life here. Rather than boring myself senseless by filling my mind with a constant stream of what I'm eating, what I'm not eating, what I might be eating, what I miss eating... eating, eating, eating... I'm just doing it. In the past I've gotten so BORED with dieting that I immediately turn to food (because I'm a Boredom Eater, of course). Haven't done that this time, not even once.

There is a 'permanent' feeling to what I'm doing. I think I was just ready. I think my reasons are good. I think it's just my time.

SEVEN kilos down now. I'm doing it.

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Accountable every week

I've decided that I'm only going to blog about weight loss once a week on Thursdays and link up at Diminishing Lucy's Fat to Fit. There are many reasons for this, but really it boils down to the time factor and the boredom factor. I really don't see myself sitting here being interesting about and interested in writing about... loss of fat.
I just find the whole thing so deadly dull.

Oh my, don't tell anyone you're on a 'diet' (or 'healthy life choices programme') because they immediately launch into telling you down to the finest detail what they had for breakfast that morning. "So I had an egg and I boiled it in water that I added a bit of salt to.. did I add the salt?... no, no salt... and then I opened a new packet of Burgen multi-grain bread, the one with the..." Cue coma.

Just having to think about the minuate of what goes into the mouth is labourious for me. I do suppose that a classic 'boredom eater' such as me will find it very difficult to lose weight when she find diets so boring.

So, this week the scales have done... absolutely nothing. And this is because I have done... absolutely nothing.  My grand 200gm weight loss a week has come to a screeching halt. There is a reason for this. I've been eating the choc bits from the cooking cupboard while watching Modern Family and United States of Tara. Two shows, two different nights, same me eating the choc bits.

I know, I know. And I'm on holidays next week which is usually a disaster, but I'll try to make it not. Perhaps the generosity of Good Golly Miss Holly will see me through? She emailed to see if I'd like her copies of some motivational CDs and I said... why yes thank you you generous and lovely soul. Would anyone like them after me?

How did you fare (pun intended) this week?

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