An outright ban on the dark stuff

It has to go. I can't stop at 3 squares or even 23 squares. It has to go.

Reminder to self

There is no point eating like an angel at breakfast and lunch if you're just going to super-size dinner. And about those chocolates that have been sneaking in... the less said, the better.

[Image by Adrian Briscoe at Sarah Kaye]

Why have I eaten four pieces of the World's Most Dangerous Cake since Sunday? And what was I doing making the World's Most Dangerous Cake in the first place? Damn you, World's Most Dangeous Cake... I will get you back someday.

See that chocolate, maple syrup, kit kat and marshmallow cake up there? I made it. But I didn't stop there. I've eaten at least four pieces too. It's beyond McDreamy when you heat it for just a little bit in the microwave and the marshmallows start to ooooooze a little and get meshed in with the cakey bits and the icing drizzles down like a love fountain of yum.

What happened to my 'doing it' programme? Where is my beloved 'zone'? Why do we sometimes wake up and subconsciously say 'fuck it' and just hoover for the day / week / month before remembering "oh, that's right, I'm meant to be losing weight?"

What's that all about, huh?

The Reset

I've had a Reset. You know them. It's when you've been feeling thinner and healthier and better for a few weeks (because you are) and then one morning you wake up and you feel like a fat cow again.

I'm sure there's a physiological explanation for the Reset phenomenon. Something to do with the brain accepting the new weight so the new weight becomes the comfortable 'old weight'. Regardless, I woke up yesterday morning and it was like 8 kilos lighter was how I'd always been so I immediately felt like I was starting from scratch.

The Reset. Not a loser's friend.





[Image by Nania Iqbal]

Highly recommended

My scales are broken. I weigh 52.2 kilos. I feel GREAT!!!! 

My new goal weight is 31 kilos.

{Image from here}

Optimal experience

I was reading Felicity's thought on creativity over at Gifts of Serendipity and she mentioned Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi's work on what he calls 'flow' or 'optimal experience'. I zipped over to the TED video (oh how I love TED... very white) and learned more. And then, because I'm just like that, I also read some of Csikszentmihalyi's psychology papers and learned all I could about the essence of optimal experience. And I think it can be related to weight loss for sure.

Flow is an optimal state of intrinsic motivation, where the person is fully immersed in what he or she is doing. To achieve flow, you have to balance your skill level to the activity you're doing. If the task is too easy or too difficult, apathy will result.

I think in the past, I have tried to do too many weight loss things beyond my 'skill' level. I've felt like you have to be a 'perfect' dieter in order to lose weight and reach your goal. You have to run 30 minutes 3 x a week, do weights a couple of times and you have to drink 2 litres of water and you have to write down everything you eat (I hate that part) and you have to only eat certain things and not others and never big quantities, keep everything small.

Considering that I've been on a diet for 20 years, I think we can assess that my experience was not optimal.

This time, I think I've matched my capabilities better to the task at hand. This time, I'm doing 1 run for about 25 minutes after lunch. That's it. That's all I can commit to and enjoy and that's that. I'm considering a addinga  bike ride, but I'm not going to worry about it if it doesn't happen.

I've also 'uncomplicated' the food by sticking with lots and lots of vegies or salad and a hearty serve of meat or beans. Not a palm sized serve or a 100g crumb. But a big, delicious, fulfilling serve that I look forward to.

I've cut back on carbs. Unintentionally, but I know in my heart of hearts that I just don't find a half a cup of pasta or rice satisfying and what is bread without butter, so why go there in the first place? I'm having some carbs here and there, but not many. It leaves me more room for my big fat juicy steak, so I'm okay with that.

Matching capabilities with the task at hand... Hmmmm.... I like this Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi dude. Even if I couldn't pronounce his name for the life of me!!

{Image via here}